well, tecnically, the Halaqah a.k.a. study circle has ended last week, since it was the last one lah kan. but the full stop for me was when we finished the exam, this morning. it was quite easy. yeah, i dare enough to say that since i did not study quite well. anyway, it has nothing to do with my position as the facilitator. it was not because i will automatically be graded with A without any answer sheet, but something has actually made me a bit blurry; questioning things i will never ever be answered. sigh. enough for that. after the exam, as we already planned, i, with the halaqah sisters went together for lunch. my treat. but yea, things only can be planned. some of us, or i can say half of us were having more important things to be done, with reasonable reasons to be mentioned. in brief, they couldn't make it. i was a bit sad cause i've had managed things i'd gonna say to them ;(.
well, fine then. i didn't mind at all.
these are some of the wonderful people that had cheered my life up ;)
clockwise: Nurrul, Intan, Eza, Zatil, Munira, me, and Sofia.
(haha Nurrul is sleeping so soundly. cute, isn't she? ;) )
as i mentioned before, i've things to be said to each one of them. yea, each one of them. they had commented on me, so did i ;) well girls, since not everyone gathered today, so i'll just mention them here yea. blame me not ;P. don't tell me i didn't ask you to come. hehe. bear these in mind. im gonna let you know what i thought of you and the reason why you guys will never ever be forgotten.
at the very first day, i was actually feeling so so bad. i was scared that i know, i was not that qualified to monitor a group of people. while i was talking to you, my heart was actually beating so so so fast. i couldn't breath properly. as i expected, most of you are older than me. and that made me even nervous. hell nervous! while you were looking me smile, i was actually screamed like hell inside! huhu. i was scared, girls. i was that afraid that i would not be able to be a good naqibah. sigh.
1.
Intan.-as i told you, the first time i saw you, i stumbled! haha. but it's true! i talked to myself: "is she going to eat me later?". haha. but then, you were the first one who made me feel belong to this group, and created the zone of comfort ;). you smiled a lot and that wiped my nervous off. thanks, Intan. please do keep smiling coz it never fails to cheer me up ;).
and believe this, you were one of the reasons why i always couldn't wait for attending each session. wo hen ai ni, ni ne? ;)
2.
Munira.-this girl had driven me crazy at first place. haha. you rarely smiled! even when i was making jokes that deserved to be laughed at. i thought you were bored. each time i looked at you, i was like asking you this; "am i that boring, munira?". huhu. but then, day by day, it seemed like i was getting to know you even better. you are not that serious, but so soft spoken. you described me as a low profile person, but believe this, you are even more low profile. keep it up, babe. perempuan melayu terakhir are not that much these days. ;)
3.
Nasuha.-this lawyer-to-be was the real challenge. you refuted a lot. you replied me a lot. and guess what, sometimes you even made me stuttered inside. ;p. but thanks, that reminded me to be more prepared. you advised me to participate more. i didn't really get it. if you were referring to my less participation during discussion, it was because i wanted each of you to participate, for the sake of marks. (10% for participation, remember?) i kept my words inside, didn't want to interfere. if there was no mark for participation, where everyone could just keep silent, the session would be surely mine. yea, completely mine. hehe. anyway, thanks again. somehow you did inspire me to keep on improving myself. kudos, dear!
4.
Hafidzah.
-ha, this girl had not shown up till the 9th session! haha. so basically you were the last person who got to know me. but there was no awkwardness between us right? you said i am a person that can be tolerated. thanks for that. i'll keep that up. coz you know what, in real life, sometimes it is impossible to see me being like that. if i say A, then it must be A. not even a chance for any B or C. hehe. anyway, you are not bad too. you talked a lot. remember the first session you attended? you asked me about the problem that your friend was having. keep up being such a good friend!
5.
Sakinah.
-do i have to say anything, unnie? owh, coz i didn't even notice that you were in my group. haha, kidding! how could i do not notice the very very effing good friend of mine? you were the reason i could take a deep, relieved breath at the end of the first session. you were my strentgh. only one word, dear. you are such an amazing friend of mine.
but guess what? i am like regretting for not issuing you the barring letter. haha. kill me not! coz i damn love you. ;)
6.
Zatil.-the only thing i will never ever forget about you is the way you looked at me. i don't know how to say this but it was calm, it calmed me down. this may be sound funny, but your eyes were like saying; "Nabila, keep going. i like you". haha. i am so syok sendiri kan? hehe. anyway, you said you like the way i treated my halaqah sisters. thanks, im glad to hear that coz that was one of my priorities; to make each one of you feel comfortable with me.
7.
'Ain.-this girl is nice. if im not mistaken, you were the last person showed up during the first session. is my memory that strong, Ain? ;) you were just like others; always made me feel calm and relax. let's have ice creams when we bumped into each other again, yea? my treat. hari tu makan sorang2 je! hehe ;)
8.
Nurrul.-ha ni pun mule2 nmpk garang, just like Intan. hehe. the first glance from you made me breathed so hardly. haha. but when i got to know you even better, you are such a soft and calm person, just like others. you said i have the sense of humour. thanks a lot, that i at last knew that i was not syok sendiri by making silly jokes. huhu. and yea, i will never ever forget the moment you talked about your sister. thanks a lot, coz that actually warned and reminded me to be good to my sisters too. you yourself are like the sister i always want to hug. welcome me? ;)
9.
Eza.-just one word. Eza is nice. just like your good buddies; Zatil and Munirah. you talked so politely to me. that was so sweet and nice, dear. when i stuttered, you were one of the people i wanted to look at, coz you would smile at me, encouraging me to keep going , and that everything would be fine. thanks a lot. let's have lunch together again yea? your treat pulak! ;)
10.
Fatanah.-you were the one sitting beside me during the first session right? owh, thanks a lot for that. coz everyone was looking for a seat that was far from me. hehe. im not a canibal, but omnivor, people! ;) i was getting more nervous when i got to know that you are an Islamic Education student. coz you are surely more knowledgeable than me. but instead of questioning such like difficult problems to me, you showered more good points and suggestions. thanks for that. and yea, you are one of the people who i believe deserved my place more than i did. fancy me to take the naqibah form for you? ;)
11.
Zubaidah.-one main thing i will never ever forget about this amazing lady is that she was the one who called herself "akak" with me. haha. and yea, you wrote the words 'very cute face' to describe the things you personally like about me. thanks a lot that i would burst with laughter each time i remember that. coz the reality is obviously opposite it. owh so ironic. huhu. you advised me to seek more knowledge about ukhrawi. thanks a lot kak. i admit that i rarely talked about ukhrawi. maybe i was afraid that people might not be convenient. but i shouldn't right? that's my responsibility as a naqibah. if that was the reason, i should have thought of the proper ways to use right? well i promise this will be improved later.
12.
Sofia.-okay, this speak-malay-rupanye foreigner is not really a 'foreigner' for me. you made me feel comfortable with you from the very beginning. you said i am easy to get along with. so are you. and yea, i personally like you coz you always came up with such brilliant and good points, views, and even reasons. you did help me loads of time; when i got stucked while talking. thanks. bear this in mind, you posses the quality of a naqibah. and everyone said that too. again, fancy my favor to get the form for you? i can do even more, dear ;)
13.
Wahidah.-alright, i've known this cute girl since i was at iium foundation centre, nilai. we were classmates for computer class, right? we even graduated together. thanks, for showing me your respect towards me as your facilitator though we once used to sit in the same row together before, as classmates. and that 'f'inger things' (ive no idea how to describe it) will ever be remembered. everyone does too. haha.
owh.
owh.
owh.
i finally finished. getting tired. but i did enjoy doing this. you will never get bored doing something for the people you love right? so did i. i do love you all, girls. you gave me a memory i will never ever forget for the rest of my life. thanks, thanks, and thanks. for everything; the respect, the encouragement, the support, and even the love ;). i've gotten stronger day by day. every session was too meaningful for me to forget.
though i am no longer your naqibah, can i have a place in your hearts as a friend? coz i already did.
someday, you may forget my name, my face, my voice.
but knowing you, is already a great gift for me!
wishing you a very bright future.
have a good life ever. take care. xoxo.
basically this is what we refer to as "Cute Cruelty".
basically this is what we refer to as "Cute Cruelty".
