Five Factor personality.

these are the result for the test i took. well i do agree that almost all of them are true.

You are: Extroverted, Conscientious, Agreeable, Neurotic and Open.

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go"! Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great admirer of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

check yours out! here.

the accidental husband.

i've just watched this not-a-brand-new-one movie 2 hours ago. well, you can call me an outdated if you want.
anyway i personally love it! well im not going to do a damn-bored review, but rather just a posting on some valued things i got from it.

tag line of this movie: "Falling in love... even the expert is confused."

Uma Thurman acts as a love expert who even is an author for a 10-year-researched book entitled "Real Love" but she herself got confused by her own feelings.

among all the scenes, i was attracted to this one the most.
there was a scene where a radio caller asked her about how to know whether the boyfriend is the Real one for her.

then Dr Emma said: spell it yourself.

R > Responsible.
(is he responsible?)
.
E > Equal.
(is he your equal?)
.
A > Adult.
(is he an 'adult'?)
.
L > Loving.
(is he loving enough?)

owhhhhh. wonderful! *grin*

so, do you think yours is surely the REAL one? ;)

do think.

before

it's too late.

before

you do regret.

p/s: dear IIUM-ians, final result is out! check it out ;p
love, love, and love from me.

Wanita.

dedicated to the marvelous girlfriends.



"Akalmu senipis bilahan rambut
Tebalkanlah ia dengan limpahan ilmu
Jua hatimu bak kaca yang rapuh
Kuatkanlah ia dengan iman yang teguh"

"Sedarilah insan istimewa
Bahawa kelembutan bukan kelemahan
Bukan jua penghinaan dari Tuhan
Bahkan sebagai hiasan kecantikan"

credit to: iluvislam & liriknasyid

ASEAN Logics 2009.

a text message reached my phone yesterday;

"Salam. Congrats! You have been selected to be a member of ASEAN Logics. bla2..."

Alhamdulillah, it means that i passed the interview which took place a week before the terribly challenging examination weeks. basically 200 people had been selected to be the committees but out of them, only 90 will be appointed as the Staff. anyway, the interview was sangat menduga kesabaran okayy. i waited for about 2 hours before being called but then the interview was just not more than 10 minutes. urgh, memg sgt bersabar pada malam itu. plus, it was terribly tough that i thought i would just fail. fortunately i was not alone. Nadea was one of the candidates too. we even were interviewed at the same time and by the same respective abang peng-interview yang akan diingati selalu. haha.

btw, basically, ASEAN Logics is a program that will enable youth to express and share their view on various regional and functional issues. for this year, the conference will be held at the Cultural Activity Centre (CAC), IIUM. so the committees will be among IIUM-ians, including me. lols ;p

conclusion: i'll be busy during this coming short semester for the training.

love, love, love, and love from me ;)

shocked, startled.

"kadang-kadang Allah hilangkan mentari,
Dia beri kita hujan,
Puas kita menangis, mencari mentari kita,
rupa2 nya Allah nak beri kita Pelangi yg indah"

-setiap perkara ada hikmahnya-

i always bear this in mind. i know, there's wisdom behind each thing. but still, i guess i haven't seen my rainbow yet.

O Allah, beratnya ujian-Mu.

pondering over these.

during the Nuqaba' training camp, we were given a compilation of Hadith 40, specifically those related with Fitan. ('Fitan' is the plural form of Fitnah which can be simply defined as 'test' or 'trial'. another terms that carry the same meaning are 'imtihan', 'iktibar' and 'ibtila'.)

among all those Ahadith, i am attracted to the this Hadith the most:

UJIAN DAHSYAT (FITNAH) TERHADAP IMAN.

daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. bahawasanya Rasululullah s.a.w. bersabda;

"Bersegeralah kamu beramal sebelum menemui fitnah seumpama malam yang sangat gelap.

seseorang yang masih beriman di waktu pagi,
kemudian di waktu petang dia sudah menjadi kafir,

atau seseorang yang masih beriman di waktu petang,
kemudian pada esok harinya ia sudah menjadi kafir.

ia telah menjual agamanya dengan sedikit dari mata benda dunia"

* Ya Allah, tetapkanlah hatiku dalam agama-Mu.

*****

Fitnah (trial) comes to anyone and in many forms. basically all these can turn to be trial:

1) Wealth,
2) Family,
3) Poverty,
4) Sickness,
5) Ladies,
6) Beauty,
7) Technology,
etc.

i'll post more later. tired already. o Allah, give me strength.

Nuqaba' Training Programme.

i was off to this camp, days ago.

Nuqaba' (plural form of Naqib) can be defined as facilitator.
these facilitators are not under any counseling clubs or societies. we are hired by the Co-Curricular Activity Centre (CCAC) of IIUM.

so basically, our job is to monitor the Halaqah (one of the compulsory courses for IIUM-ians) session, once a week. so for the sake of becoming the good ones, we have to attend this training camp each semester.

as written in the booklet, the camp was held at El- Azzhar Camp, Banting, from 19th to 21st April 2009.

these are some pictures from the first day, 19th April, till the last one.
*i don't have much to say on, because most times were spent by having discussions and sharing experiences. it was a training camp for Nuqaba', after all ;)

in front of the IIUM main stairs; gathered before the departure to the camp.

one of the accommodations; the so-called bungalow.

the group presentation.

morning riyadah (exercise). crazying with Ziera.

Ziera loves this pic since she looks taller ;p

Mrs Kim and Mrs Lee; the heart is for the beloved ones ;)

the practical modul, canoeing; with the group members.

the canoeing partner; Sis. Ruqayyah.

i damn hate doing this.

the last day, before the departure; with Kak Syara.

Super Junior's Kyuhyun.
*i know this pic has nothing to do with the camp.
but this was one of the things that made me and Ziera burst into laughter throughout the challenging days there.
-since it looks like one taken for Identity Card and Passport ;P

Overall, i did enjoy the training camp though it was a bit uncomfortable and exhausting.
and one thing i found out is that i am so lacking with the religious knowledge.
so i do need to read more and more on religious issues.
i have to seek some efforts by my own because being a Bachelor of English student makes it so rare for me to be exposed to religious knowledge.

due to that, read more!
and i promise to do my best to be a better Naqibah ;)
o Allah, do shower me your blessings. Ameeen~

*i'll share some of the inputs i got in my next posts.

the forgotten unforgettable event; the visit to Petrosains.

while browsing the filed pictures in the lappy, i found out that i did forget to post on my visit to Petrosains, on 28th March. oh yea, i didnt manage to do it before because the coming week was the final exam one. huhu. so now though it has passed about long time ago, but i still do want to have it here or i'll be forgetting it later.
so basically it was Petrosains' Open Day, in conjunction with its 10th anniversary. since the admission was free, so i decided to spend my saturday there, with Atiqah and Nadea.
since the event had already became a history, so no more talks (i've forgotten some). just pictures, with some captions.

first captured picture; at the entrance.

our own decorated cup cakes. from top; mine, Nadea's and Tiqah's.

the girl was drawing me. and the pic beside is the result.
*i wondered where my thick eyebrows were.

another thing we did; making our own UV detector bracelets.


one of the souvenirs.

the peak of the visit; taking picture together!
Gawjeous!

overall, i was damn happy for being there ;)

*credit to Nadea and Atiqah for accompanying me there.

current short-term mission.

Ziera told me that her current mission for the time being is to imitate each SNSD members' dance movements in Gee and Super Junior K.R.Y.'s singing of Han Saram Manul (The One I Love). Go Ziera! can't wait to witness the result ;p
and i have mine too, that is to lose some weight! ;)

i did lose some weight before but then final examination made me gain back some weight. reasons:

1) most time was spent at room, specifically bed.
2) studying made me bored and easily got sleepy. so i ate a LOT to get rid of these.
3) activities like gymming, basketball-ing, and jogging were replaced by studying and cramming.
4) i was emotionally unstabled.
5) i quit consuming Herbalife products for a while.

everything is over now. and im happy that i am now able to return back to the normal me ;).

"Herbalife diet program, here i come!"

*****

Herbalife Weight Loss Program - ShapeWorks™

The ShapeWorks™ program is available for weight loss or weight maintenance in several variations ('quickstart’, ‘advanced‘, ‘ultimate’, and with each of these ‘protein plus’).

The program personalizes daily protein intake for your body’s individual needs, with the aim that you feel full, satisfied and energized as you lose your unwanted weight.

for more details in Malay language, click here.

p/s: anticipating.......

oh ye, Happy Hols IIUM gardeners!

*IIUM- the garden of knowledge and virtue* ;p

the ultimate relief.

by 9am this morning, almost everything has been packed up and put into the multi-purpose hall, where all Mahallah Asiah residents stored their stuffs during holiday. so, overall, siap sudaa! *wink2*

the troubled stuffs

then i, with the naqibah-to-be Ziera, went to Jusco Setiawangsa and had our brunch there.

Ziera, with her Pat Bing Soo and my Chocnata dessert.

;)

p/s: sesiapa yg nak coupon BBQ Chicken (korea's chicken restaurant), do let me know. i have loads ;)

Final exam is over!

i wish i could write longer but need to pack all those troubled stuffs. the short semester will start TWO weeks from now but we still have to vacate the rooms. benci, benci, benci!
FYI, i've been doing all these troubled things since i was at matriculation. i moved to new rooms for each semester.

at Matriculation: 1 sem at Petaling Jaya campus, then moved to Nilai campus for another 1 sem.
Gombak: 1 sem at Mahallah Ruqayyah, then moved to Mahallah Asiah for 1 sem. Next, will be moving again. Sigh. sabar je la.

benci. benci. benci.

btw, i've just sitted for the last paper, Phonetics and Phonology of English, this morning.

seronok, seronok! ;)


the night before: the text book, and the guilty pleasure; mango juice.

spotted: the fake happy face after submitting the last scary paper.

"baru saja mahu gumbira, tapi perlu berkemas sudaa"
nod2.

parasocial relationship ;)

Nadea and Ziera already had their own parasocial relationships. basically, i learnt this from Ziera. she inspired me to have this so-called fantasy life. *grin* in brief, Nadea's brothers are the SS501, hence making Hwang Bo her sister in-law. while Ziera's are definitely Super Junior and So Nyeo Shi Dae. mine is a bit complicated and unique where only the ones admired are included =3

the uncle: Kang Ta ajushii

the eldest sister: Seo In Young (Jewelry)


the eldest brother: Mizushima Hiro

the elder brother: Heo Yong Saeng (SS501)

the younger brother: Lee Hong Ki (Ft. Island)

the younger sister: Kwon Yuri (SNSD)

adorable! ;)


the boyfriend: Kim Jong Woon a.k.a Yesung (Super Junior)

the sister and the in-law, Crown J

*****

they're the reason for me to smile.
they're the reason for me not to cry.
mental illness? psychological disorder?
do go on with all those thoughts.
an old buddy said: "bella, live in reality"
well, let me be.
just,
let me be.
as long as i am happy.

******

and Nadea is right;

[it is much better for me to be in fantasy than living in a reality
where the pain is almost more than i could bear]

i pray for the strength to stand today. just today. oh please.

[i don't wanna run away, but i can't take it]

[i don't understand]

[i can't hold on to me]

[i wonder what's wrong with me]

[wake me up]

[i can't wake up]



[i've been living a lie]

[where there's nothing inside]

*****

feel extremely down today. and i've no idea why. there's something in my mind; the one and only one i've been thinking since days ago. i don't know why. i wonder why. is it a lie? owh, life is all a lie. a lie which i am no longer able to bear. i feel like running away. to somewhere i could find peace, and freedom. oh please. i wanna be free. free from all these thoughts. i wanna be me. the only independent me. i love myself. i love myself. i don't want people to care. i love being me. i love the side of me that cares about people but ask nothing in return. i've learnt not to be dependant to people. i thank God that i finally got used to it. i've learnt to live myself. i spent most times alone, doing all things alone. alone. and alone. but i loved it. much love it. but things are always beyond the expectation. the 'peace' that i thought i've found was actually an entrance to the chamber of sorrow and sufferings. the 'freedom' which i thought i've experienced was the one filled with emptiness and loneliness. i kept telling myself that life is not hard. and i am still believing in that. life is not hard, but challenging. i know. i know. i know. hence i have to try to face it. i believe in me. i believe in Allah, the Savior. "Verily, with every difficulty there is a relief". i believe in that. Allah will never be unjustice. and i, will never ever be weak. i am strong. strong enough to bear everything. i am growing maturer. i will be more independant. i will live on my on. i won't ask for more. i love everything i have now and i am valuing every single of them. i'll be strong. strong. strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, and strong. full stop.

my depressing happy-ending tragic narration.

Time : 8.00 pm - 2.00 am.

Location : compartment D, F.1.3, Mahallah Asiah, IIUM Gombak.
Mood : sentimentally dramatic.
Adapted Genre : a civilized happy-ending Greek play.
(since all characters are MEN, excluding the narrator)

*****
i was thinking of A,
but he didn't contact me.
sigh.
i already have forgotten B,
but ironically, he was the one reached me.
sigh.
i didn't really hate C,
but D was so demand,
and indirectly became the cause for
my ultimate annoyance towards C.
sigh.
i wasn't that angry,
but E's text message had made things even worse.
sigh.
i was deadly,
lethally,
greatly,
completely,
mentally disturbed.
sigh.
but then F called,
and we talked, giggled and laughed a lot.
thank you so much, F!
for proving that normal guys like you
are NOT extinct yet!
smile ;)

*****

Dramatis personae:

[A]
: the puzzling acquaintance.
: possessing the haven't-discovered-yet and complicated features.

[B]
: the one i used to have 3-months crush on.
: a nice one to befriend with.
: damn sarcastic.

[C]
: E's friend.
: my phone's new-added contact.
: annoying yet physically scary.
: flirtatious and desperate!

[D]
: C's friend.
: damn irritating!
: a dreary mafia-sound-alike.

[E]
: former schoolmate.
: the so-called best buddy.
: occasionally bothering.

[F]
: former schoolmate.
: currently studying abroad.
: the good friend which i wish to always be with me.

[Narrator a.k.a. the playwright]
: me, Nabila Hanis, the daughter of Mr. Abdul Samat.
(real identity is revealed to show that this story is not a made, exaggerated one)
: confused, puzzled, pissed.

# the narrator's at-wit's-end questioning question and obviously-not-detrimental messages:

Why are most guys nowadays so desperate?
-come on guys, don't let your immaturity clearly exposed.
-be a man.
-love is not something to be played on.
-get a life!
-mind your own business.
-stop pissing people off.
-gross.

for the sake of making things clearer, below is the visual form of my additional message ;)

got it now?

p/s: those socks are the narrator's personal collection ;)

Xpress Music.

exam weeks had turned my life from the normal one to the one possessed by a 'kaki study' ;p

the favorite pastimes; novel-ing, gymming, jogging, basketball-ing, shopping, facebook-ing, blogging, etc, had been replaced by studying n cramming.

credit to the people in charge of the exam schedule that i got some time(sehari je pun); being entertained, amused, fascinated, mesmerized, and amazed ;)

--> currently holding a fascination to 'Sorry Sorry' performance by Super Junior.
Super duper amazing! =)

Sorry Sorry performance; 22.03.09, SBS Inkigayo.
Super Junior: the super duper adorable sweethearts ;)

[Kangin, Kyuhyun, Heechul, Sungmin, Yesung, Siwon,
Kibum, Hankyung, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Leeteuk, Ryeowook, Shindong]

these are my boyfriends in reality. in reality yea, everyone ;p
Ziera, the SNSD-10th-member buddy had once said:
"Guys around u are all in fantasy, Bella".
Ha Ha Ha. lolz ;)

i also got to put myself in music mode. see you tomorrow, Israr's ;).

current [most-played]s:
1) Sorry Sorry -Super Junior
2) Song For You-SS501
3) Again -Jewelry
4) Complete -So Nyeo Shi Dae (SNSD)
5) Full of Happiness -Super Junior
6) Call My Name -183 Club ft 7 Flowers
7) Last Farewell -Big Bang
8) Doushite -Dong Bang Shin Ki (DBSK)
9) Find -SS501
10) Gyeorheun -Choi Jung Chul ft Ga In

++additional++

when im in melancholic mood, i'd turn these songs on:
1) Complete -SNSD
2) Gyeorheun -Choi Jung Chul ft Ga In
3) Endless Story -Yuna Ito
4) Call My Name -183 Club ft 7 Flowers
5) Doushite -DBSK
6) Cling -Ft. Island
7) Lovesick -Ft. Island
8) Persona -Kangta
9) Sayonara Daisuki Na Hito -Kiroro
10) Because I'm a Girl -Kiss
11) The Day You Went Away -M2M
12) Planeterium -Ai Otsuka
13) Konayuki -Remioramen
14) Tears -SNSD
15) Find -SS501
16) Can You Hear Me -TaeYeon SNSD
17) What If -TaeYeon SNSD
18) Dear Mom -SNSD
etc.

Super happy + in high-spirit mood:
1) Amigo -ShiNee
2) Dejavu -SS501
3) Gee -SNSD
4) Let's Talk About Love -SNSD
5) Fly -Hillary Duff (most-inspired one too)
6) Super Star -Jewelry
7) Again -Jewelry
8) Last Farewell -Big Bang
9) Partner for Life -SG Wannabe
10) Let's Go On A Trip -SM Town
11) Tinkerbell -SNSD
12) Into the New World -SNSD
13) Tri-Angle -DBSK ft BoA ft Trax
14) Lithium -Evanescence
15) Xin Wo -Fahreinheit ft S.H.E.
16) Full of Happiness -Super Junior
etc.

p/s: these are all korean, japanese, english and mandarin songs.

(i am a universal listener. i listen to any songs; regardless of languages, messages, genres, etc. nway, my most
preferred are korean, mandarin, and japanese)

*****
[post has been modified]

i was asked by a blog follower, the wonderful lady cik Sara:

"kamoo mmg peminat lagu2 yg bukan berbahasa melayu kah?"

well i guess there's something interesting to be shared with.
it may be unnecessary, but i do want to ;)

here, some may think that typical Bachelor of English (BENL) students like me are always trying to westernize themselves; feeling ashamed of our native's.
for that purpose, they put such a hard effort in getting away from the lifestyle which has been occasionally described as old-fashioned, lame, etc.
undoubtedly, some people are just stereotyping BENL students but i can't deny that there is a number of BENL students yang macam tu.

so, "eeuuww, i tak suke la lagu melayu. tak de class langsung"
im not overstating or even making up story.
i speak on my own experience. lawak kan? ashamed of malay songs tapi sendiri cakap rojak english. owh, shame on that person then.

in my case, it's not that malay songs takde class ke ape. i don't really like Malay songs because they are typically about love, love, and love. saye bukanlah anti-love but they are often being composed and sung in ways that are not sensible. Indonesian's are somehow much better.

so i prefer to the others since undeniably they are expressed in more mature and most importanly, not gross and mushy ways ;p

Besides, the other reasonable reason for my most-preferred options that are Korean, Mandarin, Japanese, and English, is that i am currently hardly learning those languages for the sake of having wider job scope in the future.
itu lah sebabnye, semua orang.
i am malay and will always be a malay after all. i know. i never forgot and will never ever forget ;)

p/s: the only malay song i like is Kaer's Izinkan Ku Pergi. (...or kau pergi? huhu)
and the only indonesian song im attracted to is Ungu's Tercipta Untukku (...or untukmu? correct me for any wrongs yea)
and among these, i love nasyid too. but 'outdated' describes me the best ;p

*****
to cik Sara: owh sangat panjang jawapan saye kan?
well, i love babbling after all! ;p xoxo~

mushy but im lovin' it ;p

My Little Princess- DBSK.

How can I forget all the special memories of you?
I still remember, my little princess.

What I'm feeling must be love.
It's hard to hide it, when a smile appears on my face.
I start to miss you, before the day even ends.
What should I do? My heart is fallen ill.

You won't see laziness in me anymore
I only want to show you my best.

I'm going to fly high up into the sky and tell the world that I love you.
Your aura last deep into the night, girl.
I'll become a star watching over you. You're my love.

"Lets split up, and be happy."
Let us never to say those words to each other.
Stay by my side, just as you are now.
I know that I'm lacking, but I hope you understand.

Anticipate a more mature me.
I want to become the man that was made for you.

Please give me permission to stay in you heart forever.
If you feel the same way I do, there'll be no pain.
Now I will protect you.

For you.

Do you know how much I love you?
Please stay by my side.

My little princess,
I'm going to show you the love I've kept hidden until now.
Forever, with an unchanging heart, girl.
I'm going to love you more than myself.

You're my love.
I promise you.


*touched* ;)

*i dont really like the song, but damn love the lyric. i prefer SS501's My Girl as my everynight's lullaby.

....

"doushite? kimi wa suki ni natte shimattan darou?"

tagged by an acquaintance ;)

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left?

> yeah. someone used to.

.

What is wrong with you right now?

> often think of unnecessary thingummies. (kucing kat luar tu dah makan ke eh?)

.

When is the longest crush you have had?

> this year! the dull 3 months had just ended. ah, thank God ;)

.

What will you be doing tomorrow?

> cramming on 'Intro to Mass Comm'.
> watching Super Junior's Sorry Sorry performance! ;p

> worrying about the exam results ;(
.

Bet you're missing someone now?

> definitely am. (n hoping that he's feeling the same way too)

.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?

> definitely! coz i am more attracted to the elders. lolz.

.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

> depends.

.

Does it take a lot to make you cry?

> nope. i cry thattt easily. (shed tears while watching the already-watched-for-thousand-times korean MV *see at the end of this post*)
.

Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call/text, but never do?

> owhhh. surely yes! (same thing goes if i don't get replied)

.

In the past weeks, have you cried?

> yeah. easily get affected by petty thingy.

.

Rent a movie or go to movies?

> i'l only go to movies with those im comfortable with, or else, i prefer to watch alone at room.

.

Are you a jealous person?

> a bit lah. (a lot perhaps. again, i am affected at ease)

.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

> i guess so. only me know what is deep inside the soul. i don't really like telling ppl what i feel unless i really really do want to. (usually to the close ones only)
.
who are you in next 7 years?
> a loyal housewife? ;) (the ultimate ambition)
.
What is the thing about guy that you are attracted to the most?
> the way he speaks; which can depict his intelligence. a guy with intelligence is my most-preferred ;)
.

xoxo!

this MV is damn melancholic! it had once been described as the 'Korean saddest MV'.

p/s: if i find a guy like the one in this MV, i'll surely marry him! ;p