is it ok to be single?

4 days have passed. semester break is hell, boring. i don't have much things to do at home. same things repeat everyday. owh, back to the point, i've just watched a chinese drama about 30 minutes ago. well, it was a typical happy-ending story where everyone got to be with the loved ones. influenced by this, all of sudden this topic came in my mind.

i've been single for more than one year *claps*. and i used to say that i liked it that way. but am i really okay with that, or at least, for now? well, speaking on this, i'll be lying if i say i do not need or do not want to have someone 'special' in my precious life. i used to think that family and the lifelong friends are surely more than enough but being a human somehow makes me unsatisfied. the 'special' one can somehow make the life more precious.

when meeting old friends, chatting with new friends, same topic came up; boyfriend, boyfriend, and boyfriend. or even more 'advanced' one like marriage! (getting married at the young age seems to be nowadays' trend) well, it's not like im too busy or even too picky, but i'm just waiting for the RIGHT one. yeah, the one who is truly fit for me. the one who really can understand everything about me and openly accept the imperfectness of me.

for me, the most important thing to be questioned is not "is he kind to u?", or "does he love u that much?", but "is he right for u?". 'right' can bring lots of meanings but the one i am referring to here is 'appropriate'. and for me this word covers everything related to a good and everlasting relationship. 'right' from my own understanding also means having chemistry with each other. i've seen so many cases, and watched so many dramas. i have a friend who had been with the bf for 4 to 5 years but ended up breaking up. so what's the point of spending so many years for nothing? oh, what a waste.

as long as there is chemistry between each other, others don't matter, right?

so the conclusion is, it is surely OK to be single, (in my case)
as long as i know what i want in my life, now and future,
and i believe that there'll be someday in my life where someone goes down on one knee and say;
"will you marry me?"

;)

there's still a lot to learn.

the 3rd semester has just ended. it was not that joyous, but surely im gonna miss these times. speaking on current days, i think i've learnt that there's still a lot to learn. and since im turning 20 within few months, i should have started to think of my future more seriously.

btw, within this time being, i've learnt...

1) to manage time more properly.
-i took only one subject for this semester but instead of spending more time for study, i paid more attention to other not-to-be-mentioned unnecessary yet detrimental things.

2) that friendship is always beyond expectation.
- there was time i was left behind but there were still humans called 'friend' who always be by my side. *hugs to shazatul nabihah and the marvellous schoolmates; huda n yun*

3) that human beings are SO unpredictable.
- it is okay if you're hurted by people who you thought would never ever hurt you. and it is normal if you get pissed off by some irrelevants. daaa!~

4) to use money wisely.
- i spent as much as i earned. no savings at all. hell.

5) that we plan, Allah determines.
- i've just cancelled the plan of spending time with the good friends due to some unavoidable reasons.

6) to be more ambitious.
- i know i should have started doing something for my future. yeah, i will! ;)

things are so unexpectable.
if you get baffled,
never mind,
that is how life supposed to be.

**some current depictions**


june 12: learning process at aquaria, klcc.
*with Sha*


june 19: the ex-schoolmates' day out.


june 23: 'drag me to hell' with Abil, mid valley.

-------------

hepy hols, buddies!
;)

50th wedding anniversary.

these are my grandparents; Aki and Tok. (my mom's side).
these pictures were taken during their 5oth wedding anniversary which took place yesterday. and yea, i wasn't there. sigh.

-kek yg nampak sedap lagi berkalori tinggi-
i wish i will have one too.
*bukan senang mahu kek bertulis mcm itu*

beloved Aki & Tok.

aish. ade2 saje mereka ni.

Aki yg suka menyakat Tok.

hell, i miss them. i miss having a chat with Aki. he's funny, never fail to make me laugh. kami suke menyakat Adek. i miss berebut TV dgn Aki. Aki mahu tgok berita, kami tuka channel lain. keke.

i miss Tok calling me 'baby', though everyone would be like; 'eeeiii, baby besar'. i miss watching malay movies with her. jadi pengulas cerita tak bertauliah di situ. seronok2 bersame.

ah, can't wait for hari raye. celebrating that big day would be much fun there. sgt2 seronok. bukanlah ade ape pun, tapi much much better than kat kg. sabak. owh, we're much closer with Aki and Tok (mom's side) than Atok and Nenek (abah's side). don't know why.

Adek is much closer with Aki and Tok compared to us, another 3, because she's studying near there. selalu balik, Aki lagi sayang lah. jeles 0_0.

*
**
off to Aquaria and movies at klcc ;)
**
*
tapi term paper belum siap suda. aish.

the reason why im still alive.

[just came back from meeting sir Mazlan, discussed on the term paper]

i am busy. yes, i am. but i just can't help myself from writing this. my whole family excluding the eldest sister is busy preparing for my grandparents' wedding anniversary. ahh, kawaii~ ;)

and me? though having no classes till sunday, am stuck among people of the garden of knowledge and virtue. sigh. fine la, i'll call them later to know how things are going without me ;p. ahh, missing them like hell.

back to the base, the reason im still alive is that i wanna hear this from my parents' mouth:

"we are so proud to have you as our daugther".

i've dissappointed them a lot before. even from the very beginning, i guess.

they wanted me to be a doctor. but then, though i used to be a science stream student, i couldn't make it. i was hell, silly. i didnt even score for those effing science subjects, plus additional mathematics. i was damn, damn, silly and immatured.

that is why im very grateful that at the end i got enrolled to CFS, IIUM and finally got my ass here, the fabulous main camp.

though im not doing science's, indeed, but i promise i'll be my parents' best. we aren't a big family. only 6 of us; mak, ayah, and the 4 delicate flowers ;P. no boys at all. so what else could i do if not making them proud for having me? am i right? yes, i am. hehe.

i'm trying and will always be trying to work hard and do my best. life is only for once. i'll live my precious life to the fullest, for sure.

and i love my family so much, indeed. as long as i have them with me, others do not matter.

live, love, and laugh.

that's how a life supposed to be.

***

get back to work ;)

***

working with gusto!

im lovin' it. im enjoyin' it.

im currently in the mood of finishing up the one and only term paper i have for this semester which is for the Novel & Short Story class. basically the term paper deals with multiculturalism in America and its literature. owh, no more words to describe how fun this issue is. my selected short story is Sung J. Woo's "American Sister". as clearly stated, the writer is korean. i don't know why but i think i've fallen for him. *giggle*. tidak lah! i actually amazed by his works which mostly deal with social issues like multiculturalism. even his very first novel (which was published about two months ago) entitled "Everything Asian".

another reason for wanting this novel:
the hamburger looks damn luscious!

seems awesome, doesn't it? i'll get one for sure.
but, later lah. it costs rm89.90 at Kinokuniya
and i am for sure not having enough for it lah kan. poor me. *sigh*.

the guy im currently in love with. (kejap je ni. keke.)
*oit potong la rambut tu. rimas i tgok. aish*
anyway, undeniably he resembles Kwan Sang Woo (hero Stairway to Heaven tu), doesn't he?

++++

owh yea, i guess i've gotten back the old me. i used to extremely like drawing (or i can say doodling je sebenarnye. hehe) when i was small. i was good too, btw ;). but then due to lacking of time, i stopped making those trashes. bagus la jugak kan. but still, i guess if i put full commitment in it, it's not impossible that i can be called an artist now. kkkk~ perasan je lebih.

drawed this while studying sir mazlan's note.
*love the hair*


"selamat menyiapkan term paper, beloved classmates!"

love from me,

p/s: i guess i've lost some pounds lah ;p

there's always a chance to be better ;)

[the song of my life- hillary duff's 'Fly']

In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly~
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly~
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And when you're down and feel alone,
Just want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of yesterday,

Fly~
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,
Fly~
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

In a moment, everything can change.


" i wish i could be a bird; flies happily and freely ;)"

tagged by Nadea unnie~

(terima kasih kepada cik nadea krne sekurang2nye ade la jgak new post. -mls nk update-)

i just came back from jln rata laut (watsoever jln), kl- spending one day with the eldest sis.
*thanks for the baju kurung cotton tu ye~

What is your nickname?
:: Bella, Ila, La, Anis.

Your mum calls you by this name…
:: Ila, La.

You are closer to your mother or father?
:: mother. ahhh miss her mucho.

Your siblings calls you by this name…
:: Ila, La.

You have someone special (bf/gf) in your heart.(Y/N)
:: Definitely! Kim Jong Woon a.k.a. Yesung.

List down 3 of your good behaviours.
i. chummy.
ii. organized
iii. helpful (inspired by binbo danshi. hehe.)

List down 3 of your bad behaviours.
i. sgt suka gelak. kuat plak. aish.
ii. sarcastic.
iii. talk a LOT.

What is your favourite past times? Give 2. (dearies, past time ni bukan ke hobbies?)
i. grab a book, n put d mp3 on.
ii. workouts like gymming, jogging.

Your favourite colours are? Give 5.
i. crimson.
ii. purple.
iii. pale pink.
iv. black.
v. white.

Song of your life is?
:: Fly- hillary duff.

Name one person you admire the most.
:: people with both beauty and intelligence. (this is the way i define perfect)

The worst word/phrase cursed by you.
:: sir mazlan ckp cursing shows your immaturity. so, the most polite word i could produce is dammit!

Who is the one you miss the most now?
:: mak dan ayah di rumah.

Who is the one who ignores you most of the time?
:: Yesung oppa. i watched him all the time but never get any reply ;(

Who is the one who always keep you company?
:: i prefer to be alone. so, literally it'd be Yesung honey la.

Name the model of your phone.
:: Sony Ericsson & Motorola.

Name the model of your laptop.
:: HP. (nak Vaio, nak Vaio~)

Name one person you hate the most.
:: no one. syaitan kott.

Name the person you love the most.
:: the Family and the So-called Family (copy dr nadea jgak. mls nk link. hehe.)

The situation you hate the most.
:: being scolded.

One word describing yourself.
:: moderate.
in other words;
i am a girl "who wears baju kurung with sneakers or sport shoes" . (good antology isnt it?)

What are you thinking now?
:: “owh, how shall i behave in front of him? i'll shiver for sure.”

Classifies your friends as follows.
clever : muffin, ruqayyah.
naughty : ziera, dedo.
hardworking : ika, nadea, muffin (senyum lebar la ajuma ni nnti)
funny : dedo.
sweet : nana.
unpredictable : sha shiro.
mysterious : none.
kind : sakinah, sha shiro, ziera.
caring : sakinah, along.
handsome : Park Jung Min.
beautiful : Stephanie Hwang.
cute : me? hmm, bg nana je la.
wild : none.
big : hanafi.
small : ziera. again ;)

If you’re asked to shout,what will it be?:: YEEAAA!!!